Fierth i-ON Interview with JACKIE BEAT

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BRIAN MILLS

Editor / Founder
Founder & Editor of Fierth.com - I am not a journalist, I am not a blogger, and I am not a writer.

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JACKIE BEAT, everyone’s favorite big and bawdy, bold and ballsy, in-your-face funny “lady” returns to Times Square for Memorial Day weekend. Beginning May 25, the self-professed bastard child of “Weird” Al Yankovic and Bette Midler will premiere JACKIE BEAT: ME SO THORNY at The Laurie Beechman Theater (inside West Bank Cafe at 407 West 42nd Street — at Ninth Avenue, accessible from the   Performances run Friday, May 25 – Sunday, May 27 at 7:30 with an additional performance Saturrday, May 26 at 10pm. Tickets are $22 plus a $15 food/drink minimum. To purchase tickets call 212-352-3101 or visit www.SpinCycleNYC.com. A full bar and waiter service is available throughout the performance.

Everything’s coming up roses in JACKIE BEAT: ME SO THORNY as the legendary drag star invites you to spend an evening in her not-so-secret garden of song parodies. Weed ’em and reap as the sharp-tongued songstress gets a bee in her bonnet over songs by Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Madonna and so many others. A rose by any other name wouldn’t be Jackie Beat — but beware of the pricks!

Now its Jackies turn to reveal her true self in Fierth’s i-ON interview.. Get to know Jackie Beat ! 

FM:    Do you have a nick-name?

JB:     Bitch

FM:    What is your motto?

JB:     “Everything’s fucked!”

FM:    How tall are you?

JB:     6’1″ out of heels

FM:    What exactly are you wearing right now?

JB:     Oversized Jack Daniels t-shirt (I’m in bed)

FM:    What were you doing right before this interview?

JB:     Lunch with friends

FM:    What were you doing last night at Midnight?

JB:     Dozing off while watching The Golden Girls in bed with my dogs

FM:    What do you think about before falling asleep?

JB:     How nice it is to escape

FM:    What do you think about and are the first three things you do first after waking up in the morning?

JB:     What I think about depends on the day. I turn on the coffee maker, take the dogs out to the backyard and then give them a treat.

FM:    How do you keep it real?

JB:     I say what people are thinking

FM:    Describe your home in 6 words or less.

JB:     A shamelessly beautiful mid century movie set

FM:    What were you like as a child?

JB:     A rather macabre natural blonde

FM:    What did you do growing up that got you into trouble?

JB:     I was a very good kid who always played by the rules, Until I started smoking, drinking and wearing makeup.

FM:    As a teenager where did you think you would be now?

JB:     Six feet under

FM:    If you weren’t doing what you are doing now, what do you think you would be doing?

JB:     Advertising executive

FM:    Is there a time/event in your life that you’re nostalgic for?

JB:     I miss The Eighties!

FM:    What does your mother say about you?

JB:     Nothing, she’s dead. But when she was alive she was a 50/50 mix of Tough Love and Support

FM:    List 5 quirky things about yourself.

JB:

-I adore carrot juice

-I despise raspberries

-I’m addicted to thrift shopping

-I am obsessed with the 1976 movie “Carrie,”

-I occasionally pretend I’m Joan Crawford.

 

FM:    Post a haiku based on your life

JB:

Life is tough and short

Never underestimate

The value of lies

FM:    If someone wrote a biography on your life, what do you think the title should be?

JB:     Tears of a Clown

FM:    If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?

JB:     To communicate with my dogs

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FM:    What motivates you in life?

JB:     Laughter

FM:    What makes you angry?

JB:     Cruelty, stupidity, bad grammar and/or misspellings

FM:    Have you ever felt hopeless? How did you get through it?

JB:     Yes. I plastered a smile on my face and kept going.

FM:    What brings you the most joy?

JB:     Dogs

FM:    If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?

JB:     To communicate with my dogs

FM:    Tell me about an actual accidental adventure you’ve had.

JB:     I was performing in some small Midwestern town and when I returned to my hotel, there was a slightly drunk corn-fed All American young man hanging around the elevator whom I assumed was going to harass me. He asked, “Where are you going?” and I replied To my hotel room and he smiled and said, “Me too!” It was really sweet and very hot.

FM:    What’s the strangest thing you’ve done this week?

JB:     Googled symptoms of Syphilis for a holiday song parody I am writing.

FM:    What is your greatest extravagance?

JB:     Frequent and lengthy hot baths

FM:    What is your guilty pleasure?

JB:     Makeup and jewelry

FM:    If you could buy anything regardless of cost, what would you buy?

JB:     All the houses on a cul-de-sac where all my talented but struggling friends could live

FM:    Do you collect anything?

JB:     I collect everything.

FM:    What’s the weirdest item you’ve ever mourned losing?

JB:     A large oriental necklace.

FM:    Which causes do you believe in the most in, and why?

JB:     Animal rights and gay rights because I am a gay animal.

FM:    Which stars, if any leave you star struck?

JB:     Meryl Streep, Barbra Streisand

FM:    Who are your main inspirations?

JB:     Sandra Bernhard, Andrea Martin

FM:    Whom do you despise?

JB:     Lady Gaga. I am neither little nor a monster, thank you very much

FM:    You can trade places with any other person, living or dead, for 24 hours. Who would you choose and why?

JB:    ElizabethShort aka The Black Dahlia. I need to know who killed her.

FM:    What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

JB:     Mario bought me my dog, Baby. And a rich & famous friend of mine handed me a check for $29,000 for surgery.

FM:    What is the funniest joke you have ever heard?

JB:     I came home early from work one day My boyfriend had found my porn collection and he was furious. He held it up in disgust and said, “You’re a pedophile!” I said, “That’s a pretty big word for an 8 year old.”

FM:    What is your favorite song?

JB:     “Magic and Ecstasy” by Ennio Moriconne

FM:    What is your favorite sound?

JB:     Laughter

.

FM:    What is your “Safety Word”

JB:     “Harder!”

FM:    What is the worst song you have ever heard?

JB:     “Friday” by Rebecca Black

FM:    If you could choose a superhero power, What would it be, And how would you use it.  [Invisibility, Ability to Fly, Super Strength, Read Peoples Mind’s ,Elasticity, Super Stamina]

JB:  Ability to fly. I would use this ability to — and get this “ FLY!

FM:    Ever had a rumor spread about you?

JB:     Yes.

FM:    What’s something about yourself that no one knows?

JB:     When I’m going to die.

FM:    Do you believe in karma?

JB:     No, I think one of the hardest realities to come to terms with in this life is that good things happen to horrible people – and vice versa.

FM:    Do you believe in reincarnation?

JB:     It’s possible, but I would never claim to know for sure. I would want to come back as a lonely middle-aged drag queen’s dog.

FM:    Where is your favorite place to lunch?

JB:      Astro Diner, Silverlake CA

FM:     Do you know how to cook? What do you most like to make ? 

JB:     Yes, but my favorite thing to cook is actually something simple and from my college days called “Hobo Stew”: Ground turkey, a can of corn, a jar of salsa, served with corn tortillas.

FM:    Let’s play a Quick Fire round : I am going to say a word , tell me the first thing that comes to your mind.

JB:

Bitch: Me

Money: Freedom

Love: Friends

Unique:  Talent

Power:  Kindness

Hate:  Mirror

Moist:  Ugh!

Sex:  Hairy

Dirt:  Clean

God:  Trees

Cozy:  Bed

Fame:  Prison

Funny:  Sexy

Best:  Worst

Good: Dogs

Bad:  People

Worst:  Religion

Myself:  Funny

,

FM:    What are you going to do next?

JB:     (I’m on ) Holiday Tour  [ Jackie Beat is the NutCracker ]

FM:    Leave us a quote to carry on with

JB:     “Why don’t you want to look like what you are?” Malcolm X

FM: How can we find out more about you :

Face book:   facebook.com/jackiebeat

Webpage:    missjackiebeat.com

Twitter:        twitter.com/JACKIEBEAT

Email :         missjackiebeat@gmail.com

JACKIE BEAT, everyone’s favorite big and bawdy, bold and ballsy, in-your-face funny “lady” returns to Times Square for Memorial Day weekend. Beginning May 25, the self-professed bastard child of “Weird” Al Yankovic and Bette Midler will premiere JACKIE BEAT: ME SO THORNY at The Laurie Beechman Theater (inside West Bank Cafe at 407 West 42nd Street — at Ninth Avenue, accessible from the   Performances run Friday, May 25 – Sunday, May 27 at 7:30 with an additional performance Saturrday, May 26 at 10pm. Tickets are $22 plus a $15 food/drink minimum. To purchase tickets call 212-352-3101 or visit www.SpinCycleNYC.com. A full bar and waiter service is available throughout the performance.

Everything’s coming up roses in JACKIE BEAT: ME SO THORNY as the legendary drag star invites you to spend an evening in her not-so-secret garden of song parodies. Weed ’em and reap as the sharp-tongued songstress gets a bee in her bonnet over songs by Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Madonna and so many others. A rose by any other name wouldn’t be Jackie Beat — but beware of the pricks!

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The following two tabs change content below.
avatar

BRIAN MILLS

Editor / Founder
Founder & Editor of Fierth.com - I am not a journalist, I am not a blogger, and I am not a writer.
avatar

Founder & Editor of Fierth.com - I am not a journalist, I am not a blogger, and I am not a writer.

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