Miss Understood’s tips on doing Halloween properly

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FIERTH

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By Miss Understood

Amateur Night.  That’s what New York’s drag queens call Halloween.  “You must LOVE Halloween” drunk ladies gush.  Please bitch, we do this all year.  Why would we look forward to an overcrowded evening chock full of “sexy” cops and drunk “70’s guys” in bad afro wigs?  OK, I’m exaggerating a bit, it can be fun, but it’s much more rewarding if you can look like a pro.  Here’s my advice:

1) Avoid Rubber Masks:In the Halloween shop rubber masks are always the conversation starter.  Every year there are new designs portraying newsworthy characters of the previous year. I’m sure this season we’ll be seeing Lady Gaga, Sarah Palin, and some form of Avatar somethingorother.  Look, talk, but don’t buy.  Everyone who has ever worn a rubber mask knows that after 5 minutes they become unbearable.  You’ll end up walking around looking like a normal schlub holding a limp mask in your hand.

2)  Shop A La Carte: Resist the temptation to buy a pre-assembled ensemble with the wig and accessories included.  You will feel quite foolish when you pass six other Lady Gagas in the same spandex bodysuit with the same plasticy wig.  HIt the thrit shop, use your sewing skills, and rely on the costume store for bits and pieces.

3) Bring Your Makeup: The # 1 sign of a inexperience is smudged off makeup.  You think you can apply and go?  You have go to be kidding.  You should be extremely careful not to touch your face (or any other made up part of your body). Still, something will inadvertently rub off.  Bring a little bit of everything with you and include a small hand mirror.  You’ll thank me in the morning!

4) Plan your Outerwear: Even if you are skipping the parade you will have travel to and from the event you’re attending.  October weather is unpredictable and there’s a 50/50 chance you’ll be needing a warm coat. Do you really want to be photographed as Captain Hook in a 21st century snorkel?  Choose outerwear that goes with your look.  It’s not an easy task but who said Halloweening was easy?

5) Hack the Halloween Parade:  The Village Halloween parade can be lots of fun… if you can see a damned thing.  Suburban mobs tend to tightly pack themselves onto the sidewalks lining the avenue preventing anyone (who’s not extremely pushy) from viewing the spectacle.  There’s a very simple solution.  Join in.  Unlike most parades this one is mostly not made up of organized groups.  Anyone can join.  Now once you’re in you’ll want to walk very slowly.  This way you actually get to see the parade from within.  Once you’re in it’s like one big friendly party.

Miss Understood is the CEO / Spokesmodel for Screaming Queens Entertainment in New York City.  Screaming Queens provides exquisitely costumed performers for parties and events.www.screamingqueens.com

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