Sherry from the vineâ€¦Iâ€™ll drink to thatâ€¦
The crowd poured out of Splash on a crisp autumn eve after the Glammy Awards; A glamorous gaggle of gals in sequins, feathers and false eyelashes, crumbling after an evening of drinking and sweating through pancake. I was no exception and my nerves were wearing thin! Then out of nowhere the one and only Shealita Babay held her bible towards me, lunged forward calling me a vile bitch. I whipped my ostrich feather boa in front of her face as to dust her ill will off of me and dashed for a cab screaming.
I flung open the door and fell ungracefully into the seat while all of my vodka nips fell from my purse; I’m not paying those prices. I quickly went to grab them and then heard
â€œIf you want to caress my leg shouldn’t I know your name?â€
â€œOh dear, I’m so sorry! It is a lovely gam especially splashed with a bit of bourbon. I licked a bit off her ankleâ€. I’m MargOH! I seductively whispered
Then Shealita Babay started slamming on the window screaming â€œVile cuntâ€ at me.
â€œDrive off!â€ the lovely legged creature demanded! Gathered herself and said â€œI’m Sherry Vine. Where are you headed?â€
â€œBrooklyn, can we share the cab love? It’s so nice to meet youâ€ as I dumped the remaining nips into my bag
â€œIs there a liquor store in that purse?â€ Sherry giggled
â€œOh yes, I love a drink, especially dirty martini’s â€œWhat’s your tipple?
â€œI got turned onto CC and Ginger by Justin Bond. But I drink Jack and ginger a lot also!â€
I pulled out a jack and mini fridge ginger ale and poured them into my flask and handed it to Sherry. She gestured in a salute and downed a bit
â€œI was going to take the subway but Shealita was after me; I have to say I admire her conviction to her character.â€ The cab started swaying side to side and swerving and weaving in and out of ambulances and police cars.
â€œThis is why I take the subway, How about you?â€
â€œIf I’m in drag, car. Out of drag, subway or walking. I walk everywhere!â€ as Sherry grabbed the back of the seat to brace herself but she slid right across the seat and up against me.
â€œMargOH! swings both waysâ€ I said, â€œare you currently involved with anyone?â€ as I slid my arm around her shoulder
Laughing out loud â€œSwinger!! I’m currently going thru a break up so not interested in being involved right now. Of course, that could change at 3am!â€ she winked at me but slid away to the other side of the cab
â€œWhat an exciting night for you, how do you feel about your â€œEntertainer of the Yearâ€ Glammy?â€
â€œWhat an honor!! I won the first Entertainer of The Year in 1997 so it was nice to get that love from my peers again. The whole night was gorgeous and fun!!â€
â€œAnd you look so effortlessly gorgeous tonight! You always look so flawless, how long does it take you to get ready?â€
â€œTen minutesâ€, laughing! â€œUsually ninety minutes, two hours for special occasions. There’s a whole pound of make up on my face! Plus, with the genius hair masters at WigBar.com how could I go wrong??â€
â€œI’ll have to check them out; they must have done the wigs for your videos. The videos look so polished, how long do they usually take to shoot?’
â€œHoney, those videos are shot in a few hours at manic rapid speed! Chuckling as she gestured for a refill. â€œThe polishing is thanks to the brilliant work of directors Francis Legge and Blake Martin.â€
â€œHow did you come up with the idea for the Bad Romance video parody? I’ve cut out cabbage and started taking Imodium before I go out ever sinceâ€
â€œWell, I knew I wanted to do a parody of Bad Romance because I heard the GaGa’s video was going to be major. So I was just playing with different rhymes and Shit My pants came out (don’t ask me why!) and I just went from there. That’s my exciting Saturday night, searching the internet for words that rhyme with poop!â€
Then our cabbie started laughing â€œYou’re the shit my pants girl? My kids are loving that oneâ€ as he slammed on the breaks sending us flying forward. Pulling out a pad and pen and asking for an autograph. â€œCan I get two, my brother in Spain turned me onto your stuff, he’s a gay boy from Barcelonaâ€ Sherry obliged and adjusted her mini dress and crossed her legs all so elegantly smiled then gently my way.
â€œDidn’t you live in Spain and Germany for many years? Which do you prefer New York or Europe?â€
She nodded â€œI love both. I mean, NYC is home and always will be. I’m always so happy to return to the Big Apple. But the lifestyle in Europe is more me. I like sitting down to drink coffee instead of everything always being on the go! So luckily I get to enjoy both!â€
We were now stuck in traffic and my stomach was grumbling so I took a swig of my flask and rubbed my tummy. â€œI’m starvingâ€ and pulled a bag of beer nuts out of my purse. Sherry looked amazed about how much was in my purse. I gestured for her to share my nuts but she declined so I asked
â€œCock or balls?â€
â€œI like meat AND potatoes!! But if I had to choose one I think I can have more fun with the sausage!â€
â€œMMMM, now I’m really hungry!â€
â€œTell me, if you were stranded on an island with your â€œQueens of Dragâ€ co-stars who would you eat first?â€
Laughing! â€œOh dear, you’re trying to get me in trouble. I guess Bianca Del Rio because I love South of the Border!! Some black beans and yellow rice – yummy!â€
â€œOh really, you likes it spicy?â€ I replied â€œShe’s got a fun potty mouth and has made me rethink the use of white eyeliner altogetherâ€
â€œI’m sure she’s a lovely gal, you have collaborated with so many other performers, who do you like working with most? Any chance you would do a duet with a budding brunette?’
â€œI love working with other performers. I never understood being intimidated by others. I want to be surrounded by talented people. Joey Arias, who I work the most with, is amazing and generous. And with Raven O the trinity is complete and ready to rock. Also Jackie Beat is the funniest person to be onstage with. And yes lady – let’s do it!
â€œI love them, so fun! Maybe we can do a duet of â€œIslands in the Streamâ€ or why not a Justin Beiber parody?â€ I roared with laughter
â€œActually, I am working on one! I know I will get bombarded with hate mail but no one is exempt!â€
I laughed even louder, â€œI can’t wait to see that and I’ll be the first to send love mail.â€
â€˜My street is coming up MargOH!â€ Sherry said gesturing for the cab to pull over
â€œOh that’s too bad I’m having such fun, let’s have one more drink. This ride is on me!â€
â€œThanks MargOH! We cheered to good health.
What the next big thing coming your way? Sherry looked down at my crotch and said â€œI don’t do that for a cab ride!â€
In your career I mean silly? Laughing uproariously
â€œOh! I’m working on a gay soap opera webisode called, The Flames of Hell’s Kitchen with David Serrano and a very talented cast. Coming soon to sherryvine.com
and of course more songs and videos about poop and sucking dick!â€
â€œI can’t wait for that doll! I hope you do more acting, I loved you as â€œCarrieâ€ that must have been exciting, what’s the one role you’d love to play?â€
â€œI have to say, Carrie was the highlight of my career so far. That was a lifelong dream and hopefully it will be returning. Theatre Couture will be back! I would love to play Hedda Gabler and also do a drag version of The Three Sisters.â€
â€œThat would be fabulous; sure you don’t want me to come up Sherry?â€ As I winked
â€œThanks for the offer MargOH! but I’m pooped.â€
The cabbie chuckled â€œPoopedâ€ shaking his head.
â€œOh! How sad, this is the best runaway cab ride I’ve had in a while. You’re so sweet Sherryâ€.
â€œThanks for the drink and ride MargOH!â€ handing me back the empty flask
What’s the one thing you’d like people to know about Sherry Vine?â€ I added
Pondering for a second â€œI’m a whore not a prostitute!â€ Laughing as she exited the cab and waved goodbye
As she walked up to her door I watched the long legged beauty and thoughtâ€¦
I’ll take my Sherry from the vine anytimeâ€¦she’s a class act!
â€œWhere to now lady?â€ the cabbie asked
â€œSomewhere fabulousâ€ as the car sped away light drops of Sherry rain lightly fell on my faceâ€¦