Lady Bunny Style: The Lady Bunny interview by MargOH! Channing
As I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a hangover not to seep, some Advil and water my soul will keep, as slowly I drift away to sleepâ€¦.
AHHHHHHHHHHH! Lady Bunion! What are you doing in my bed?
â€œDarlin, you’re having a dream. I’m your Fairy God Drunktress and honey you been hittin the sauce hard!â€
I’m parched, Fairy God Drunktress, are you thirsty? Would you like a glass of champagne?
Lady Bunny shook her finger as to say no, no, no, and then sighed.
â€œAs my friend Elaine Lancaster told the waitress at The Standard the other night, Save yourself some footwork and just bring the bottle over.â€
So I grabbed myself and ma lady each a bottle of champers from my mini fridge nightstand with portable martini maker and we cheered to our bedtime romp
This is so fun, I giggled! I love waking up in bed with strangers, well, not that you are a complete stranger, I don’t know how many times I’ve watched â€œWigstock The Movieâ€ and how many times I’ve tried recreating your lower lash trademark without much success, it’s almost like we’re friends.
â€œThat’s sweet sugar, though a bit deranged. But it is your dream honey so run with it darlinâ€
Thank you my Fairy God Drunktress! Like I was sayingâ€¦I love waking up in bed with strangers. How about you Bunny, have you ever woken up in a stranger’s bed and snuck out?
â€œSure. And once I picked up a horse-hung preppy at an after-hours club. I’m not known for my housekeeping skills, so you should have seen how fast he ran when he woke up!â€
OH! You are too much, I like you! Have another bottle
So I bet you’ve woken up in a stranger’s bed and stayed for more then?
â€œDefinitely! RuPaul, Larry Tee and Lahoma love to tell the tale of how I once came home and found a burglar. Instead of calling the police, I slept with him. I did sleep with him but he was actually a guy Ru and I had met a few nights before and he wanted more.â€
Talking about housekeeping, Bunny, there was this time when Boy George was in New York and I invited him over for a nightcap. He had a lot more than a nightcap; he cleaned out my whole medicine cabinet including snorting all the talc I use for my lady bits
â€œDarlin, I wonder if I snap my finger’s you’ll wake up?â€
You know the boy I’m sure, Bun-Bun? Has Boy George ever cleaned your apartment in any way, shape or form?
â€œNo, but I admired Boy George for his brilliant zingers when doing his community service. He asked the press which was sadderâ€”him pushing a broom or them following him around to do it. And also said he was from a working class backgroundâ€”did Americans see anything wrong with a hard day’s work? I just saw Boy George tonight at Mark Ronson‘s pre-record release show in London. His stage presence stole the show and I think his collab with Mark will be the album’s hit.â€
OH! He is very talented and I do love his music but I think he should stick with the champagne, it’s much more stylish
Another bottle Fairy God Drunktress?
â€œPleaseâ€, Bunion replied
â€œNow that we’re on the subject of sex is there any chance I can get a little? Since it is my dream and you are so gorgeous, really you are.â€
Two more finger snaps â€œGoodness me still hereâ€, Bunny sighed
I giggled. You are gorgeous and ageless! Was Dusty Springfield an inspiration for your look?
â€œNo, I just have a beauty secretâ€”photoshop! I never intentionally impersonated Dusty, even though I love her music. But most of my looks are inspired by the fashions of her eraâ€”particularly the late 1960’s. Like big hair, false eyelashes, long-sleeved mini-dresses, etc. If the truth be told, she and I both look our best with big hair and pale lips because we have rather long faces!â€
Your faces are lovely, really, another bottle?
â€œIs that fridge like a clown car? Keep it coming sugarâ€
Just as I popped open another bottle of champers a huge floating blue bunny came prancing lightly across the bed. We gazed in amazement as it winked and guzzled down the champagne and belched then blew out a big fart.
â€œHoney is the champagne laced with somethingâ€? Bunion asked
No, of course not! Well maybe! It’s just like the lottery commercial with the bunnies dressed in country attire attending a miniature state fair? Have you seen that?
â€œNo, darlin, I haven’t seen it but it sounds like the Lady Bunny ceramic figuresâ€
Do you like Bunnies, Bunny?
â€œNot really. But I find it hilarious that when I do a Google search on â€˜Lady Bunny‘, it also refers to female rabbits in female attire of days gone by. They are normally either ceramic figurines or dolls and I think they’re atrociousâ€
OH! This dream is fantastic, much better than the one when I had a threesome with Linda Simpson and Michael Musto. Have they ever come onto you sexually?
â€œI have been known to black out on occasion, but not to my recollection. THANK GOD!â€
I don’t like to dream and tell but believe me this is much more satisfying. I really should be asking you important questions, you are an icon and I’m a huge fan. I love your style and you are a fashion icon. Is it tiring being a fashionista?
â€œI didn’t realize that fashion icons came in my rather large size, but I still enjoy putting looks together. New York is still my favorite place to shop for wigs, fabric and jewelryâ€.
I wrapped my arms around her and lay my head betwixt her ample bosoms. I said, You are so modest! You do so much perform around the world – DJ, write your delicious blog, guest star on tv and in movies – what is your favorite?
â€œI grew up in Chattanooga, Tennessee and like many freaks, (as she gently nudged me off her) that made it out of smaller towns to NYC, I grew up feeling that there weren’t enough opportunities for a creative person. I’ve never once been bored in NYC–except during a Linda Simpson poorformance. So the more different things I do, the less likely I am to get bored with any of them because it’s like having several part-time jobsâ€.
â€œTell me more, tell me more!â€ the big blue bunny yelled out. In one big swoop of our fists Lady B and I punched his lights out.
â€œMiss MargOH! I must tell you sweetness this is the weirdest interview I’ve ever hadâ€
OH! Thank you. Have another drinkie, I said with glee.
Now, you’ve also done porn winning a GayVN for Non-Sex Performance; did you ever want to jump in on those sex scenes?
â€œNo, I’m not usually into white guys, with whom I appeared in Michael Lucas‘s flick. And the set had a definite smell of ass sex. Now if it’s your own ass, that’s one thing. But I don’t walk into a room and smell someone else’s rotted rump and start twiddling my nipples. Unless there’s angel dust involved, of course.â€
Then I snapped my finger and a glittering white powder fell from the ceiling and danced around us like snow and we burst into laughterâ€¦
â€œI was just joking, darlin’, but what a lovely gestureâ€
Would you care for some tea? I asked
â€œNo darlin’, more champagneâ€
Speaking of tea, I see on your blog you get political and keep all the gays informed, it’s a fabulous blog, I just love it! What do you think of the tea party movement? Don’t you agree that they are giving us tea baggers a bad name? You know those of us that just simply love to lick and suck on balls!
â€œMargOH! I’ve never masturbated during an interview before! But the tea party movement is very sad. Basically, they’re a bunch of racists who are scared into voicing their ugliest thoughts by the crappy economy. Gays without families and club people don’t always understand this, but when the average joe has worked all of their life and suddenly their 401K is in tatters and they’re losing their homes, they justifiably get freaked out. But instead of trying to figure out what’s put us in this economic downturn, they grab their Bibles, guns and revert to traditional â€˜values’ like anti-Muslim, anti-gay, and anti-ethnic sentiments.
That said, I respect the tea party’s passionâ€”however misguided it may be. They may be out protesting health care reform at the urging of tea party websites which are created by insurance lobbyists to look like homespun grass roots sites, but at least they’re protesting. More than I can say for many liberals. And more than I can say about many gaysâ€”who seem particularly disengaged in the political process which has their equal rights as citizens by the balls.
And I want everyone to remind everyone that this country did not elect its first black president because we’re so liberal and accepting all of a suddenâ€”the racist tea partiers prove that. During the last election, Obama was calm, intelligent and charismatic with a clear economic plan. The only other choice was the rash and mixed up McCain, who admitted to not being knowledgeable about economics and then pulled out nut-job Sarah Palin as the nail in his political coffin.â€
You are so smart my Fairy God Drunktress, I said, slumping over with a bit of drool and repeating, I can’t wake up, I can’t wake up, I can’t wake up. I still have a few more questions
â€œGoodieâ€, Bunny replied and rolled her eyes a bit
You are nominated for a Glammy for Best Comedy this year. You just recently did some stand-up with new material, how did it go?
â€œIt went very wellâ€”not a huge room but it did sell out. I think the crowd liked it the most when I explained that I was new at this so please don’t laugh as it might throw me off. I was asked by Logo to participate in a stand-up special and even though I blab onstage, it’s generally patter between the songs which makeup most of my act. TV doesn’t want to pay clearance rights for music, so performing stand-up is a way to do clearance-free material. I still need to workshop it some more.â€
I bet it’s outrageously funny! There are so many gorgeous drag queens in this city, have you had a lady crush on one?
â€œIf there is one thing I’m not, it’s kai kai! I did have regular sex with a guy who went on to do drag, but when I met him he was just a cute latin boy in Miami. Then he turned into a dragoon! But I still sucked it!â€
I bet you did! A gal after my own heart! You are involved in a new reality show â€œThe Queens of Dragâ€ how is that going? Are you giving all the girls tips of the trade?â€
â€œIt has just launched and you can view my webisode here
I don’t think most girls want any of my tips.â€
OH! This girl does! How do I get those bottom lashes on just right?
â€œMore Champagne sweetie and maybe I’ll tell youâ€
I just have a few drops left, I sadly replied
â€œWell, darlin if you’ve got anymore questions, hurry it up cause once this glass is empty you’re wakin upâ€
OOOH! No, what to ask? OH! I know! What is the one role you’d love to play in film, Broadway or television? I think you would be perfect as Julie McCoy in Love Boat: The Musical should that come your way, for what it’s worth.
â€œJulie McCoy, I don’t know about that sugar, but there is a Japanese thriller called The Black Lizard starring a drag queen as a diabolical jewel thief. It would be dynamite to create that villainess.â€
OH! That sounds fun, to play someone bad, I’ve always had â€œthat bitchâ€ quality about me.
â€œThat’s it! I’m doneâ€, as the lady Bunny smashed the glass on the floor â€œand you’re about to wake-up darlin, one more question and then I’m outta hereâ€
â€œOkay, what’s up with the Blue hair?â€
â€œDarlin, didn’t you know I just did a parody video of California Girls but I called it West Virginia Gurlsâ€
OH! Let’s watch it, I said and she snapped her fingers and a large flat screen came down in front of us. The ever glamorous Lady Bunny shared her new adventure with me and it was uproariously funny.
Has Katy seen it?
â€œActually, someone already sent it to Katy and to her manager. We had a total blast filming it. We shot it upstate at the director’s house and many of his friends were great as extras and really got into the whole John Waters meets Hee Haw effect. There were some last minute cancellations and substitutions with the cast, but we ended up with some really funny freaks. Shealita Babay, Lavinia Co-op and Sugga Pie Koko are insane. And Matthew Camp is such a cutie. And he’s no himbo, either. That hunk studies physics AND makes drag clothes! Can you say husband material? Hint! Hint!
I haven’t had time to read all the comments or have any desire to do battle online with anonymous viewers, but it does amuse me that some people from West Virginia are complaining that they aren’t really like that. Of course they aren’t! This video was cooked up based on my desire to play inbred, overweight toothless white trash. I had to put on 50 pounds for the role. (Just to be on the safe side, I put on the weight 10 years ago.) Honey, I don’t even know any girls from West Virginia. I certainly haven’t done any research as to which state has the ugliest girls. And West Virginia replaces California best, rhythmically. North Carolina fits too and it’s my birth state but it doesn’t quite have the Deliverance vibe of West Virginia. One viewer wrote that it was the most “discusting” thing she ever “sall”! Now I can understand not being able to spell disgusting since it’s a three-syllable word. But if you can’t spell saw then you must be pretty ignorant! So if the flip-flop fits, then wear it–you skanks!â€
I discreetly moved my flip flops under the bed and turned back to my Fairy God Drunktress who was fading away.
Don’t go Lady Bunion I’m having so much fun!
â€œDon’t worry darlin we’ll meet again but the booze is gone and I’m outta here sweetieâ€
Snap, snap and she faded awayâ€¦.
I awoke in bed completely refreshed hangover free and with the lyrics to â€œWest Virginia Gurlsâ€ running through my head. I stumbled to the bathroom stepping around a broken glass and numerous champagne bottles, â€œI must be sleep drinking againâ€, I said. Then when I looked in the mirror I was wearing the most gorgeous mane of blue hair and my bottom eyelashes were on just right!
I had a dream and it was magic, Lady Bunny Styleâ€¦.