“AN OPEN LETTER TO ELTON JOHN”

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FIERTH

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Editors note : Elton John has decided to sell himself out to the forces that generally speak out against Gays , our community , and our Lifestyle . Please read this open letter penned by The Divine Grace.

By Divine Grace

Dear Elton,

Yesterday you earned $1,000,000.00 performing at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding. You’ll have to excuse me, but I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around your manner of thinking here. Could you please take a moment when things calm down to tell me what in gay hell that was all about?

I just don’t get you, Elton. (Said the rest of the world at least once a month for decades.) Your actions have been notoriously puzzling for the better part of forty years. Such mystery! Honestly, you are not some enigma wrapped in a riddle, Elton. Rather, you are a turd wrapped in bacon. That bacon-wrapped turd is then rolled in diamonds and placed under a hot stage light to cook until it’s baked on the outside, but retains a cool dark center. You are a turd mignon.

I don’t know when you’ve had the misfortune to spend time with Mr. Limbaugh before now, but it is apparent that he slipped you a mickey with a bunch of crap out of his well-stocked medicine cabinet.

Let’s go back in time…

Eminem managed to sing about women and gays in a manner that refreshed misogyny and homophobia amoung young men, and you celebrated that. When you performed with that moral reprobate rapper at the Grammys nearly ten years ago, I had your back. The way I saw it, you were part of bringing two apparently opposing forces together in some sort of cultural unity through music. How beautiful, right? And while I didn’t agree with Eminem’s lyrics or message, I stood firmly behind the ideology that, as an American, he still had the artistic right to say it.

Ten years have passed, and I’m older and tired. I don’t buy that bullsh*t as easily as I did back in the day. I’m all for the freedom of speech which allows me to post this publicly, but we are all finally learning just how damaging hate rhetoric can be when it becomes IMPOSED on groups of people. (Including your dwindling fanbase.)

When we look back at our nations’ fears that Pop and Rock were corrupting our youth, all we had to do was wait a few years. After the fuss calmed down, we realized that Elvis was not actually the devil and that the Beatles and Madonna had just about as much to do with the deconstruction of our childrens moral fiber as a game of Twister. (I’m sure you remember a time back in the 1900’s when your own morality was judged as you slithered over your wife and out of the closet. In spite of your behavior and a wardrobe that looked like it had been purchased from a Kiss garage sale next door to an overzealous Lenscrafters, it turned out that you were just a harmless old queen.)

I realize a decade later how wrong I was. Eminem’s spots never changed. (In the end, that’s okay because nobody even cares to check in on him anymore. He’s about as culturally relevant as Rico Suave’.) Apparently your spots remain the same as well, but when looked at with a more discerning eye I finally see that they cover an opportunistic and exploitative old toad with even more self-loathing to work out than his legendary anger management issues. You have two faces, and they’re both pretty rotten. And bloated.

Those rushing to your defense are reminding us all of the six figures you give annually to AIDS research, and that we queers should be grateful that some piano playing tranny other than Lady Gaga is throwing us a bone. I’d remind them (and you) that AIDS is not a gay disease and that you are receiving a considerable tax deduction for your contributions. This idea of you being some pudgy gay Robin Hood who’s swooping into King Rush’s castle and grabbing a hand full of money to give to the poor is complete crap. What precisely is a million dollars to a man who allegedly spends over half of that sum annually on flowers for his Barbie Dream House? It was obviously not about the money.

So, why did you do it, Elton? Why?

Eck. I’m so through with you. At this point, the only thing you could do to salvage your image in my eyes would be to publicly hand that $1M over to a gay rights advocacy/ marriage equality organization at a press conference in which you say to Rush Limbaugh, “PSYCHE! B*tch, I got your money! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!”

Rush will go back to his life with a newer model bride and laugh about how he, one of the most openly homophobic men in the country, got the most legendary faggot on earth to play at his fourth wedding.

You will go back to your BOYFRIEND because a civil partnership is all you ever deserved.

I will go back to feeling embarrassed for you as you struggle to hoist your ancient girth onto a Grand piano with a crooked toupee.

I guess that’s why they call it the blues.

Musical genius, clumsy celebrity, retarded queer. You really are my generation’s Liberace!

The Divine Grace

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